Today I drove to and from a wedding in the middle of no where in a car with no A/C. I had to pleasure of seeing two dear friends get married. A man who I've looked up to and learned from. A woman whose presence has always brought me peace. I can hardly think of a better pairing of people.
I still haven't well and truly cried at a wedding. But I almost lost it today. It wasn't when I turned to see my friend in her dress coming down the aisle... it was when I pulled my eyes away from her and saw the groom. Saw his face beaming as the woman he will spend the rest of his life made her way to him.
Today I saw true joy as can only be gifted by God drawn on a familiar face. Today something clicked for me.
Today was also, quite contrarily, one of the worst days that I've had in ages. Yet somehow, none of that seems to bother me.
7.10.2010
7.08.2010
Lump lingered last...
In two days, two close friends are getting married to one another. I am excited for them. I am not excited about the people I will see there that I know. Not for petty reasons. I just haven't really *done* anything since the last time I saw any of them.
I've been sitting on my butt, growing. There isn't much to do without a job, with neighbors taking care of the yard work for my Mom, and with all my close friends either employed, far away, or not getting in touch with me. I do not absolve myself of guilt - I know I could contact *them* too... I just want to make sure the line between friend and intern has well and truly dissolved before I do that. The last time I hung out with someone in this category, it was like I was interning all over again. This wasn't completely unwelcome... just strange.
That's another thing that I haven't really come out and said before now - I'm actually quite disappointed that I wasn't offered a full-time job at CCF. My reasons are many. Many of them selfish, some of them just my own hurt and confusion - but they exist.
Another thing I haven't come out and said formally - I won't be attending Emmanuel in the fall. My reasons are many. Many of them selfish, some of them quite legitimate.
I would still like to minister somewhere - but again, the job opportunities aren't exactly rolling in.
I discovered that I lose weight when I have any degree of real stress in my life - which is why I've been gaining weight all summer. See, whether it was the rigors of interning, or even just the average stress of school - I never really gained any weight during my time at UGA. I even lost some at points. But right now... not so much.
There have been few bright spots to this summer thus far. Thankfully - those that are bright shine strongly.
I've been sitting on my butt, growing. There isn't much to do without a job, with neighbors taking care of the yard work for my Mom, and with all my close friends either employed, far away, or not getting in touch with me. I do not absolve myself of guilt - I know I could contact *them* too... I just want to make sure the line between friend and intern has well and truly dissolved before I do that. The last time I hung out with someone in this category, it was like I was interning all over again. This wasn't completely unwelcome... just strange.
That's another thing that I haven't really come out and said before now - I'm actually quite disappointed that I wasn't offered a full-time job at CCF. My reasons are many. Many of them selfish, some of them just my own hurt and confusion - but they exist.
Another thing I haven't come out and said formally - I won't be attending Emmanuel in the fall. My reasons are many. Many of them selfish, some of them quite legitimate.
I would still like to minister somewhere - but again, the job opportunities aren't exactly rolling in.
I discovered that I lose weight when I have any degree of real stress in my life - which is why I've been gaining weight all summer. See, whether it was the rigors of interning, or even just the average stress of school - I never really gained any weight during my time at UGA. I even lost some at points. But right now... not so much.
There have been few bright spots to this summer thus far. Thankfully - those that are bright shine strongly.
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